But It’s Unfair!….

You may not know this, but I just finished the rough draft of my very first book. It’s a book about the spiritual reality that has changed my life more than anything else the last 24 years: Forgiveness!

I can’t wait to work on the last details of the book and to get it published as soon as possible. I know that the book contains truth that Satan hates with a passion. He doesn’t want any of us to live lives free from any bitterness, resentment or hatred. He wants us to be stuck nursing our wounds on our own and never dealing with our issues of unforgiveness. “Unforgiveness is the poison I drink while waiting for someone else to die”, someone correctly said about unforgiveness.

The question of fairness keeps many of us from forgiving people in our lives who have hurt us in different ways. It doesn’t feel fair that I – the victim of someone’s hurtful, destructive behavior – am the one who sits with the consequences. And, to be honest with you, it’s not fair. Not at all. Waiting for forgiveness to feel fair is a major hindrance to forgiveness. Real forgiveness will never feel fair. I don’t recall ever forgiving someone who hurt me where I experienced a clear sense of fairness. Quite the opposite.

Forgiveness is painful. Forgiveness doesn’t feel good in the moment. Don’t expect forgiveness to initially give you a great sense of excitement. But the long-term effects of forgiveness done well are myriad.

I love the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis. Joseph is brilliant, he’s gifted, he – like a lot of gifted people – struggles with arrogance and doesn’t understand his place in his family, and he’s punished and mistreated in ways that are completely disproportionate to any bad actions he may be guilty of. I associate myself a lot with Joseph in a number of different ways, but for this we’ll exclusively focus on what the story of Joseph teaches us about forgiveness. Let’s highlight a verse from Genesis 45:1 right as Joseph reveals who he is to his brothers: “Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So, there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it”

Forgiveness is painful. Cries and loud, sobbing tears are Joseph’s way of starting to process the emotions of the last 13 years of pain. In the story in Genesis, we see Joseph wrestling with his desire to forgive his brothers. He’s not perfect, he’s very much like you and me. He throws his brothers in prison, he scares them, he intimidates them, he messes with their heads in different ways to get back at them for the terrible act they did when they sold him into slavery and told their dad that Joseph was dead. But when he’s done playing games with them and he finally arrives at the station called forgiveness, we see the pain of it described in Genesis. Forgiveness isn’t straightforward, not even for some of our heroes of the Bible. They’re real human beings, and forgiveness is tough for all of us.

Do you need help forgiving someone in your life, please contact Transformative Truth. We would be honored to help you learn in the full freedom of radical forgiveness that Jesus offers all of us.

Somewhere in your Silent Night

The heavy raindrops on the windshield matched the tears streaming down my face as I was driving around and found myself thinking about all the people, I know, who face difficult struggles that don’t hit the pause button just because the calendar says December.

"𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠…𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚" was playing in my ears, and I allowed myself to think of all the people I know and care about who are walking difficult paths and long for their type of oppression to finally cease.

𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙝𝙤:

- Thought this would be YOUR year, and it turned out to be a never-ending train wreck
- Dreamed that you would finally get pregnant and have the child you dreamed of, but another miscarriage crushed your heart
- Hoped that your parents would age gracefully, but they’re getting more complicated and painful to deal with every day
- Had high hopes for your grown kids, but the connection to them has gotten worse, and they continue to make life-destructing choices
- Struggle with your teenager’s disability that cause him to be more erratic, aggressive and dangerous than you ever feared
- Thought that you had finally beat cancer into final remission, but now it’s back with a vengeance
- Find yourself in the midst of deep family conflicts where you’re being falsely accused and excluded for standing on the truth
- Dreamed this year would be the year for landing your dream job, but your resume with past criminal activities listed still trip you up every time you get close
- Know you’re doing the right thing for your family, but friends and family around you don’t understand you and you sense them talking about you and pitying you
- Keep a brave face in public, and friends call you a great inspiration, but the effects of the accident that crushed your life are strongly felt behind closed doors
- Always assumed that you would be happily married by now, but you’re facing another New Year’s Eve without your dream husband to kiss you into the new year
- Struggle with addictions to judgmentalism, hopelessness, pornography, self-pity and self-righteousness that you just can’t seem to escape
- Desperately want to know and experience Jesus, but your quiet times and prayers seem stale and lifeless
- Care for your spouse whose health deteriorates in a way that scares you and you wish someone would just listen to you scream and cry
- Face the terrible consequences of your own choices and you grieve deeply that you feel responsible for hurting your loved ones and you can’t see a way back
- Do all you can as parents, but your kids are struggling to take off into adult life and you don’t know how to help them overcome crippling fear and anxiety
- Will face another Christmas where you don’t know where your firstborn is or if he’s even alive
- Fight to start a second career, but the discouragements pile up quicker than the success stories
- Got falsely accused and fired for something you never did and now you’re facing Christmas with the fear of how you’ll provide for your family
- Feel stuck in a lifeless and painful marriage, and you just don’t know how it’s ever going to improve
- Dreamed of grandchildren, but you rarely see them
- Had crushing news from doctors who looked at you and said: “we don’t know how to help you”
- Fight the lonely fight of caring for your children affected by disability and you daily dream of a break, some help, some understanding, some care that doesn’t seem to ever happen
- Hope that your family will be united, but 2025 caused the canyons between you to feel even more insurmountable
- Feel the lonely ache of many connections and acquaintances, but no friends who want to hear what’s in the depths of your heart
- Don’t know what to do with the endless ache after the child you lost. They all say you’re doing great. You know the truth is very different
- Struggle with anger and bitterness after too many experiences of rejection and loss
- Can’t imagine how 2026 will be any less challenging than 2025

𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘗𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 – 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘵 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘴 – 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 “𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨” (𝘐𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘢𝘩 53) 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘐𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘭.

𝙈𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝘾𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙢𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪!

“𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙢 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩
𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩
𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮'𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙟𝙤𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙚
𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙛𝙖𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙛𝙖𝙧 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝”

Somewhere in your Silent Night, Casting Crowns